Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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