You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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