Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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