so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
