I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
