I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
