Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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