bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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