Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
