she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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