Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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