i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
