Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
