Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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