I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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