I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
