can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
