This is not my ceiling
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
