i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
