I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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