i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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