can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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