It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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