i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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