So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
