Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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