What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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