Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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