yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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