I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
