Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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