You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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