You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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