Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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