Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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