this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well you can't waste a boner
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
