Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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