1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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