ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
