So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
operation have a gay friend backfired
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I am mentally ready for anal.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
