I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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