Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
