I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bring me that man meat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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