No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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