Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize