you guys were way drunker than both of me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
