he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
