why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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