Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize