her vagine was all disorganized.
Jerry, you need to find god
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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