you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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