help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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