My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
