It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
ok first of all what the fuck
dude. I can hear the air.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
