Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
