Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
