Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
