its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
