You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
