I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
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You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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