one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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