Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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