its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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