are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
